29 July 2010

the other day i told a lie

I decided on July 23rd, exactly one day preceding my birthday, to get a massage.  On this day, I made the mistake of telling a, very rare for me, lie, and not just a little white lie, a REAL lie. 

The Engineer and I are not meant to lie, biologically that is.  We suck at it, just ask our parents.  We have no lying backbone whatsoever.  This is one additional piece to why I choose to make the Engineer mine forever - if he does anything wrong, I'll know within 2 minutes tops. 

My massage therapist, a 60-something, male, chatterbox type, goes through the normal procedures with me and asks if I'm sore in any particular areas.  Well yes, my upper back is knot central.  Could you focus there, please?  He proceeds with "Where do you work?"  At a hospital.  "What are you a nurse, a tech...?"  (And here is where I sinned.)  Yeah, I'm a nurse. 

Now you may ask why lie about your occupation?  Especially since I am actually quite proud of my occupation.  I've never ever lied about it before, but sometimes older men get a little awkward about it.  They feel the need to either abruptly change the topic or ask a question to pretend like they really aren't feeling awkward...all while avoiding eye contact.  And I was about to be NAKED for a solid hour with this man.  So, I lied, in my selfish ambition to enjoy my massage in an awkward-free environment.

Mr. Chatterbox, however, must have a direct line to Jesus, because there was no "off the hook" with him.  He starts massaging my back.  "Oh yes, this (fill in fancy smancy muscle name) muscle is really tight.  Do you remember this muscle?"  No.  (Oh, crap he thinks I'm a nurse).  And at least 10 more times throughout my massage he asks "Do you remember (such and such) muscle?" Yeah...  Which of course leads to more lies.

Towards the end of my massage, Mr. Chattebox decides it would be a good time to test my nursing knowledge a little further and points out a place on my neck that can cause a miscarriage.  "If you massage here, in the webbings between your toes, fingers, or ankles it will cause you to miscarry.  This is why we ask you if you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant."  TRYING TO GET PREGNANT?  You didn't ask me that question!  What happens if your trying to get pregnant?  "It'll cause the egg to go through your fallopian tube and right out your system"  Well I'm trying to get pregnant! 

Oh Mr. Chatterbox, why would you not ask me these pregnancy questions before telling me such horrible things.  This was not the birthday treat I was looking to spend an arm and a leg on!

He awkwardly makes some comment about how he didn't really touch those areas.  Sure thing, Mr. Chatterbox.  "I'm surprised they didn't teach you that in class."  Well I specialize in feeding.  There I'm not lying anymore.  "Oh you're a nutritionist!"  And I think to myself  "Oh, I just give up on this lie."  He promises not to talk so much next time.  NEXT TIME?  I know about your wife, kids, your last 10 careers, your wife's last 10 careers, and your pastimes.  Next time isn't looking too promising for you, Mr. Chatterbox. 

Then I come home to google the chances of this guy actually massaging away our baby making chances for this month and decide I'm probably ok, but no more massages for me.  Good grief, Mr. Chatterbox!

Luckily, I have an amazing husband who recovered the birthday funness with a day of little surprises.

The best one being this little gem. 

He even sucked up his MAN-pride and bought me a Twilight birthday card! 

The Engineer is my favorite, for sure!

27 July 2010

eggs...it's what's for dinner

A savory egg sandwich.  This is Giada's idea.  I learned about it on her food network show a few years ago and I have no clue what her exact recipe is, but here is what I've twisted it into since:

3-4 slices of a hearty whole wheat bread
3-4 eggs (1 per sandwich)
6oz can of tomato paste
1 handful of Parmesan or Italianish cheese
A bunch of basil leafs or dried Italian herbs
1-2 tablespoon olive oil

Add 1 Tablespoon of olive oil to a pan and fry up an egg, however, you like.  Sprinkle parmesan cheese on top.  Toast bread, spread a tablespoon or two of tomato paste on (like you would peanut butter) and sprinkle with either fresh basil or dried Italian seasoning.  Place egg on top of bread and wa-la dinner is served.  The Engineer prefers more than one of these bad boys, that's why I make the recipe for 3-4 pieces, but you could adjust to meet your needs.

Yummy in our tummies.

22 July 2010

watch out rachel ray, there's a new rachel in town!

Don't you wish you could watch Rachel bake everyday from your couch...say maybe on the Food Network?  Me too.  She's so cute here, posing in her kitchen, and you should seriously see how pretty her food always is!

Do yourself a favor and go to A Cupcake for Moose's blog for her latest give-a-way!  It's worth your time.  Even if you lose you'll leave feeling all happy-go-lucky after reading a couple of her posts!  It's seriously a win win.  You only have 24 hours, so go quick!

STOP READING BROTHER (and there will be no continuing for you today).  I'm feeling a BAJILLION times selfish, but the Engineer and I are really hoping for a hole in one...you know for it to happen the first month. I know.  Everyone hopes this and no one gets this.

This morning as I stayed in bed while the Engineer got ready (I love these days when I work late - well just the morning part) I told him I'll be so excited if I wake up one day throwing my guts up! Which he found to be a little weird, but any sign will make my heart happy. Then once I get the sign, if it's ralphing every morning, I'm sure I'll start singing a different tune, but until then a girl can day dream...

Here are some articles that I found and bff Kristen (one of my many pregnancy experts - as it does seem my friends are the best at getting pregnant) sent to me, one on cervical mucus, one on ways to boost fertility, and another one on increasing fertility from The American Society of Reproductive Medicine...sounds official, right? I have found these articles to be helpful and wanted to share them with any other baby making-ers out there!

P.S. Isn't the word CERVICAL MUCUS about as unsexy as it gets? Come on, we're trying to make a baby here!

21 July 2010

how to deal with awkwardness

My brother stopped reading my blog.  MY OWN BROTHER!  Can you believe that?  He said that my "we're trying to get pregnant" post was awkward and apparently according to him everyone thinks it is (which I HARDLY believe, brother...).  So, now he is refusing to read my blog, because he's afraid I'll write more awkwardness (and he's probably right, that is, depending on what you consider awkward). 

Well I can't have my own brother not reading my blog!  It's not like I have a huge following to begin with.  Each reader is precious, and probably related to me, so you all must stay.  It's a have to, not a want to, BROTHER!  Imagine where my self esteem will go when my own family refuses to read my life ramblings?  It's truly not good, as you can imagine. 

So, that brother of mine and I came up with a solution: I will write STOP READING BROTHER when I am heading into awkward AKA DANGEROUS territory for his poor brotherly eyes.  It's like a traffic light system: stop, take a short cut, go, ok stop again (unless you dare to live on the wild side and swim in awkwardness...).  This can also be the warning sign for the rest of you who would prefer not to know what is or is not happening in my womb.  Fair deal?  I thought so, too. 

Just to review.  New blog code:

Let's practice. 

Hi friends.  My day has been okey dokey.  The Engineer, blah, blah, blah.  And then you know what?  STOP READING BROTHER.  Making babies, making babies, making babies. CONTINUE READING BROTHER.  This weekend is my birthday.  Don't forget to buy me amazingly pretty presents, Engineer!  And I think I want to go to a water park, too!  So, get on that.

How was that?  Do you think you can keep on reading now, brother?

18 July 2010

my favorite amusement park in the whole world is...


Have you been?  Do you love it?  Of course you do. 

Yesterday we took BIL, SIL, and nieciepoo (Now that we're trying for a baby I've been exponentially increasing my cutesie talk.  You know, I wanna be a pro at it for my future offspring.  The Engineer definitely loves this.  "Grab your trunkies, we're going swimming this weekend.  Oh, and don't forget the towlies.") to the magical, affordable, space efficient Swedish wonderland for their very first trip. 

Now isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever seen?

What can be more wonderful than walking through itty bitty apartments that some how contain a splash of everything you could possibly need?  Or having lunch 1/2 way through your shopping experience.  Those brilliant Swedes, how do they know I get grumpy exactly 1.5 hours through my shopping trip?

And then there's my favorite isle.  The candle isle.  Followed by kitchen things.  There's sure to be something I MUST HAVE in these areas.

IKEA pushes the limit for the Engineer, however.  It is not his favorite amusement park.  If I'm going to take the Engineer I need to have a plan.  A blueprint of the store, path lined out, bins of desired products pre-deteremined.  The main goal of the plan being: QUICK.  No lingering in kitchen junk or sniffing candle lane.  Just a quick run through the show room, going straight to the box section, and then checkout.  And probably a snack in between or at least a cinnamon roll to go. 

Yesterday was special, though.  And I LOVED it.  The Engineer could not rush me.  I had him right where I wanted him.  We had guests and he was caught - the polite thing to do was linger through the amusement park and allow them to fully soak in the IKEA experience...my favorite way, of course.

All this was followed by an afternoon at the pool and a friendly game of LIFE, of which the Engineer smoked us all.  He's good at life - the game and the real thing - which is one of the many reasons I picked him to be my guy.

And that, my friends, is what we call a good day around here!

15 July 2010

plug your noses, it's gonna be a stinky morning

My morning began with "Peace out homes".  Followed by "Later homie". 

That's how the Engineer and I say goodbye to each other in the mornings.  We figure we share a home, so we're theoretically homies, obviously.  Don't worry, there's a kiss and an "I love you" in there somewhere, too.

Next, I debate on dishes or grocery store.  Both stink, LITERALLY.

We have this store near us that has the cheapest produce I've ever seen in my life.  Which probably isn't a good sign, now that I think about it.  But, anyway, we refer to this store as STINKIGRUDERS (otherwise known as Magruders).  When you first walk into Stinkigruders you're overwhelmed with a smell of nursing home mixed with meat mixed with dirty and food.  I think it's legit.  It's a local chain, super friendly folks, unlike Giant or Safeway, same types/names of food, but cheaper and closer, like 3 blocks from us.  It's no Trader Joes, which I love dearly, but Stinkigrueders' cost and time effectiveness keep winning most days of the week. 

G-chat this morning:

me: can you give me some more cleaning motivation?
Marcus: our place smells like sweaty garbage not to mention the piles

me: i'm sitting in that motivation...come on.  you know something like i'll buy you ice cream or give you a massage or 500 kisses in a row

Marcus: we can go on a picnic and i'll give you a massage
me: now you're talking

Today, I pick dishes, because it's probably not a good sign when you're husband describes the smell of your home as 'sweaty garbage'?  He doesn't leave me much of a choice now, does he?  Plus I'm wanting that picnic and massage pretty bad.  I'm publicly holding you to your promise, Engineer, so don't try to pull a slick one on me! (as my mom would say...)

13 July 2010

about the previous post...

Let's just clarify here for a quick second.  We are just trying to get pregnant.  Key word TRYING

I thought it would be fun to share our journey with you all, come what may.  It could be a the beginning of a long run, but we'll keep our fingers crossed for a sprint!

12 July 2010

our world cup doesn't have a goalie no mo

Dear Kate,

The Engineer and I have pulled the goalie, if you know what I mean.  Can you believe it?  I know you've been wishing and hoping that we'd join you on the band wagon ever since we first got back from our honeymoon (You're crazy, by the way.), but the Engineer is so practical and he just cannot be rushed.  And well, after an itsy bitsy amount of "encouragement" he finally deemed it is time.  And you know what?  He hasn't seemed to mind at all, in fact, I think he's having fun.  Imagine that...I tried to tell him it would be, silly boy.

So Kate, I thought you should be of the first to know, we are doing our best to make a playmate for your sweet Angie and Gavin.  Just give us some time and we'll get there.


how can i have some more....?

We went camping this weekend, and I took no pictures.  How dumb...  But I must say thank you, sweet Jesus, for rain that brought cooler weather followed by sunshine.  I was so positive it was going to be as hot as balls out there and everyone would be grumpy and start fights.  Instead it was HAPPY. 

Isn't that nice?

The Engineer and I even split a s'more.  I'm telling you South Beach and family and friends do not mix.  But it was so worth it!

07 July 2010

babe, you're lookin mighty fine!!!!!!!!!!

In just a few hours I can have fruit again!  It feels like it's been an eternity.  I went to the grocery store and stocked up on some fruits in preparation for tomorrow and I've been salivating since.  We're suppose to just dip our big toes in the carb and fruit water, but I'm going to have to cheat and jump in head first.  Oh mango, how I've desperately missed you, and blueberry and summer peach!  Please don't tell the Engineer...I have been a good wife after all and stuck by his side through 2 weeks of no carbs and fruits.

The good news is the Engineer is down 15 poundaroos!  I'm very proud of him.  He's looking all MAN MEATISH, but don't start drooling because he's all mine!  He resisted so many temptations like free pizza at lunch meetings and cookies in the afternoon at a conference.  I, on the other hand, managed to hover around 3ish pounds, but I swear I didn't cheat.  I just ate significantly more of the foods allowed...

One thing we noticed over the past 2 weeks is how much our lives revolve around eating for the sake of eating.  We felt like we had to hole ourselves up, because how much fun is a happy hour if you can't drink or what's the point in meeting up with friends if you're not going to get ice cream or dessert to chat over? 

Now, comes the real challenge - keeping most of these healthy habits and adding the bad ones back in moderation.

I'd much rather post a cupcake, but this is life, for today at least.

01 July 2010

it doesn't look so bad. wouldn't you agree?

I'm watching Kelly and Reg.  Who happened to mention that there are rabid raccoons in Central Park (watch out Marques) and the Kardashians...looks like Khloe and Lamar are going to get their own reality TV show.  Yes! that makes 3 Kardashian shows that I can now view to lower my IQ and self esteem.  But, seriously, if you know me, you know I love them. 

Marques is BFF Sarah's boyfriend, WHOM I haven't meet yet (yes, I had to look up the correct use of who/whom for that one).  Just absurd.  What's even more absurd is that he has something in common with the Engineer.  A first name,  different spelling, but still this is going to make the pink duplex situation absolutely confusing... 

I guess Sarah was thinking that I did SO WELL getting married off to my Marcus that she'd try her luck with a Marques, too.  Who could blame her?

Since I'm currently deprived of baking treats, I've been focusing more on salads and making dinner look as appealing as possible.  One of our favorite dishes is sunflower crusted Tuna, so I modified it.  Is it sick that we've eaten like 5 or 6 dozen eggs in the last week?  That's what I thought.  Anyway, here's dinner...

Sunflower crusted Tuna with Greek Salad and a Mini Cheesecake for "dessert"

Sunflower Crusted Tuna
4-6 Thawed or Fresh Tuna Steaks
1 Egg
1 Cup of Sunflower Seeds (or your favorite seed) 
2 Tbs of Ground Flax Seeds
1 tsp Garlic Powder
1 tsp Red Pepper
A dash of Salt

Prepare either a grill or in our case (we are banned from grilling...stupid condo association) take a cookie sheet and place a cooling rack on top (or I guess that is basically a make-shift grilling pan).  Coat well with cooking spray.  Beat egg in bowl.  Mix sunflower seeds, ground flax seeds, garlic powder, red pepper, and salt of plate.  Dip Tuna into egg and coat with seed mixture.  Place on make-shift grilling pan and bake at 400 degrees for 20-30mins.

Greek Salad
Cucumbers (pealed)
Green Peppers (sliced)
Red Onion (sliced)
1 can Black Olives
1 tsp Capers
Plain Feta Cheese
1 1/2 Tbs Balsamic Vinegar
2-3 Tbs Olive Oil
1-2 tsp Italian Seasoning

Cut veggies and cheese in to bite size pieces.  Drain olives and capers.  Mix all the ingredients together and sprinkle with Italian Seasoning.  Add more or less seasoning, oil, and vinegar to taste.

Sugar-Free Mini-Cheesecake (that taste fairly descent)
1 1/2 Cups of Nuts (I used Almonds and Pecans)
3 Tbs Ground Flax Seeds
1-2 Tbs of Canola Oil
16oz Fat Free Cream Cheese (room temp)
2 Eggs
5 Packets of Splenda
2 tsp of Pure Vanilla Extract
1 tsp Cinnamon

Prepare muffin tins with foil muffin cup liners.  In a food processor grind nuts, flax seeds, canola oil, 1 packet Splenda, and cinnamon.  Evenly distribute mixture to bottom of muffin liners.  Beat cream cheese, eggs, remaining Splenda, and vanilla until smooth.  Poor evenly on top of nut mixture.  Bake for 25 minutes at 325 degrees.  Chill for 3 hours before serving.

I'm pretty sure this would taste 5 BAZILLION TIMES better with a topping of sweet blueberries!  But whose complaining?  We got dessert for crying out loud. 

I expect you to get me to a LIVE Regis and Kelly show when I come to finally meet you!
The other Marcus lover